


Of Waves and Pamphlets

by bibliosoph



Series: Red, White & Ocean Blue [2]
Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Alex has nightmares, Henry doesn't know what sex is, M/M, Red White and Ocean Blue, but also crack, ellen gives a presentation, it's cute, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23951140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliosoph/pseuds/bibliosoph
Summary: The aftermath of the underwater battle leaves Alex feeling scared and unable to sleep. There's a lot of water in his dreams and Henry's supposed to be moving to his own place near the ocean soon, so Alex is feeling nervous and ill-prepared.Also featured in this one-shot: Sex talk and an Ellen Claremont Presentation.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Series: Red, White & Ocean Blue [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726645
Comments: 20
Kudos: 69





	Of Waves and Pamphlets

Alex hasn’t been able to sleep since everything happened. Even with Henry curled up against him, he hasn’t been able to sleep. He’s been running on fumes for the past three days since everything went down––too tired to even process half of the things his mom has talked to him about. He recalls the lengthy discussion where he and Henry had to explain what had happened with the squid-man––Richards, according to Henry––and then he got an earful about putting his life in danger and that Ellen was upset but also loved him very much and was glad that he was alive. He recalls, vaguely, a meeting to discuss what to do with Henry now that he’s here to stay and they’re dating. ( _Are_ they dating? Alex has been meaning to ask. He’s assumed that they’re dating, but it’s probably best to check in with him soon. If he can even remember what to do through all of the fog in his brain.) It’s been decided, he thinks, that Henry will probably move into some suitable cottage or another for the time being. He’s requested something by the ocean so it’s easy for him to visit his family. Alex is, he’s fairly certain, allowed to visit whenever he pleases. He can’t recall.

The thing about sleeping for him is that it’s fucking impossible. He spends nearly an hour trying to convince himself he’s tired, then another hour trying to shut his mind off, just to be woken with an assortment of various nightmares so frequently throughout the night that he’s just stopped trying to go back to sleep after the first one. The thing about the nightmares, though, is that they’re not really nightmares at all. They’re all recent memories and they’re filled to the brim with water. Sometimes Alex can feel the water filling up his lungs––feel the moment the life leaves his body. When those happen, he finds that he can’t breathe again until he throws up, like somehow there’s actually still water inside of him that he needs to get out. Sometimes it’s just the look on Henry’s face when Alex died but it’s closer than he actually was like someone’s taken the moment and put it under a magnifying glass. He can still breathe, at least, after those ones, but he always has to scramble to find Henry and wrap his arms around him just so Henry knows that he’s here and safe. The rest of the time, he’s being brought back to life. He can’t actually recall this when he’s awake, so the memory frightens and shocks him every time. Being brought back is almost as painful as dying for him––the trauma his body must have endured from that is sure to stay with him for a long time to come.

So Alex doesn’t sleep because water haunts his dreams. Thankfully, Henry is a deep sleeper and is none the wiser about it. Truthfully, Alex doesn’t know what will happen when Henry goes off to his own place, especially one by the sea. As much as Alex wants to be with him as much as possible, the idea of being that close to the ocean terrifies him. He hasn’t gone to the beach since everything happened––he hasn’t even looked out at the ocean from behind the safety of a window. His drapes remain shut to block it out. He plans on keeping it that way.

Tonight, it’s the nightmare about drowning. It wakes him with a start and leaves him gasping for air that his body stubbornly denies him. Eager to get it over with, he rushes to his waste bin under his desk and throws up, knowing that it’s the only thing that will make his damned lungs work again. He stays there for a moment, curled up on the floor and shaking.

He hears the distinct sound of blankets rustling, but he just assumes that Henry is adjusting his position due to Alex’s absence. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the case tonight. A moment later, Henry’s hand is pressed against Alex’s bare shoulder. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on his breathing––tries to focus on the calming press of Henry’s palm against his skin.

“What’s wrong?” Henry asks.

Hearing Henry’s voice still sends happy shivers down his spine. Alex’s mouth still feels wrong––his whole _body_ feels wrong. He can’t bring himself to reply.

“Have you fallen ill?”

He manages to shake his head in reply. He feels like mute Henry.

Henry hums and rubs calming circles on Alex’s back. Alex is still trying to work on getting his fucking lungs to do their job. He leans into the touch, though, just so Henry knows that he appreciates him.

“Do you want me to carry you back to bed?”

He shakes his head again. He can walk––he _should_ walk. He tries to stand but his legs give out from exhaustion and fatigue, but Henry’s there to catch him with his strong arms.

“Christ,” Henry mutters, lifting Alex up bridal-style. “Alex, please tell me what’s wrong.”

He sets Alex down on the bed and lies down. Alex instantly glues himself to Henry, wrapping his arms around him and setting his head on Henry’s bare, beautiful chest. He takes a deep breath and tries to explain. “I’ve been having nightmares,” he tells him in a broken whisper.

Henry’s breath catches in his throat––Alex can feel it. “Tonight’s not the first?”

“No…It’s been happening since…well…”

“Since you died,” Henry finishes.

Alex nods and draws incoherent patterns on Henry’s skin just to feel something real beneath his fingertips––just to reassure himself that both he and Henry are here and safe.

“How did I not know about this?”

Alex looks up at him and finds tears running down Henry’s cheeks, clearly upset with himself for not knowing what’s been happening. And, knowing Henry, he probably feels responsible somehow. Alex surges up and kisses the tears away, using the pad of his thumb to smooth out the wrinkle that forms on Henry’s forehead with his eyes squeezed shut like this. He wishes that kisses could make everything that happened just go away, but he knows that they don’t hold such magic. He’ll try, though. He’ll try as much as he possibly can.

“I didn’t want to stress you out or make you worried about me.”

Henry shakes his head and kisses Alex’s forehead. “I’m always going to worry about you,” he tells him. “But please, love; you have to tell me when things like this happen or I can’t help you. I want to make you feel better and I can’t do that unless I know that you’re hurting.”

Alex nods against him, breathing in the scent of him to calm his nerves. It helps that Henry’s here and by his side––it helps to know that Henry’s arms are around him and that, even if he did drown again, Henry would be there to save him. Even though Henry can’t make the nightmares go away completely, he helps more than Alex could begin to describe.

Even though Henry is always there to soothe him back to bed and Alex is down to roughly two nightmares a night, he can’t bring himself to go anywhere near the beach. The sound of the waves terrifies him to the core and the sand underneath him makes him feel like he may just fall through to the ocean at any given moment. Still, he tries to go for Henry’s sake. Alex is eager to meet Henry’s family properly this time, especially since Henry’s told him about each one. He gets as far as the bottom of the slope before he practically collapses from fear and Henry has to take him inside and have June watch over him. Alex makes sure that Henry still goes to visit his family, though, even if Alex can’t be there quite yet.

Henry’s gone longer than Alex thought he would be. In fact, it’s nearing eleven o’clock when Henry finally returns to their room looking exhausted beyond belief. Alex hasn’t been able to get to sleep without him so he’s awake when he comes in. He rushes over and throws his arms around him, so happy that he’s alive and here and human and safe. June had tried to convince him that Henry was fine and that he was probably just catching up with his family, but Alex wouldn’t be calmed so easily. June knows enough about what happened with Richards, but she doesn’t know the whole of it. She doesn’t know how menacing the sea can really be––how it can just take you down with it.

Henry returns his embrace with enthusiasm while June leaves to give them privacy.

“I’ve only been gone for a few hours,” Henry laughs.

“That’s a few hours too long,” Alex mumbles against his shirt. “I missed you.”

Henry presses a delicate kiss to his lips. “And I you.”

“Did y’all have a lot of catching up to do or something?”

Henry moves them over to the bed so Alex can snuggle up against him. Henry runs his fingers through Alex’s curls. “We were discussing an idea, actually.”

Alex raises an eyebrow and looks up at him. “An idea for what?”

“You know how I’m supposed to move to that seaside cottage in a few days time?”

Alex nods. The thought still makes him sick to his stomach.

“Well, we decided that living so close to the ocean wouldn’t be right for me.”

Alex sits up and looks at him, stunned. “H, you can’t just change your plans for me. What about your family? If you live inland, you’ll never be able to see them.”

“It’s not because of you,” he says. “I decided that living by the ocean wouldn’t be practical––it would be far from you and far from town. It seemed…unreasonable.”

Alex knows that Henry’s just making this up to make him feel better, but he doesn’t say anything about it.

“Zahra found me a nice property, actually. It’s secluded and only a short walk from the water but you can’t see it from the house.”

Alex kisses the first spot his lips land on and Henry hums contently. “If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“It’s quite spacious, you know. It has an extra bedroom for a guest or two.”

“You know I’ll––”

“So, if any of your family wanted to come visit us––”

Alex freezes. He looks at Henry for a moment, trying to discern if it was merely a slip of the tongue or if he’s saying exactly what he means. “ _Us_?”

“Well, since I’m being kindly asked to leave the palace––not that I mind, of course––I thought you might want to come with me, seeing as we’re practically living together anyway.”

Well, Alex hasn’t really thought about it like that before. Since Henry’s been staying in his room, he’s seen it more as a thing of convenience––why take up a guest room when they’d rather sleep together? And it’s not like Henry has any actual _stuff_ to move from place to place, so it feels almost like he’s not even really living here when he’s not physically in the room. As much as moving in with Henry excites him, he knows that this can’t be what Henry really wants. Since Henry’s opened up about his life as a merman, he’s told Alex how lonely he felt and how he never really had a place he felt comfortable enough to call home. Nothing was really his in the ocean––his room was impersonal and the one space that was his was blown to bits by his insane older brother (who Alex wants to meet for the sole purpose of punching him in the face).

“Sweetheart, I don’t want you to feel like you need to do anything for me. You’re free now, right? Don’t you want to, I dunno, explore the world by yourself for a bit? Maybe live with Peggy and hear stories about your dad?”

Henry shakes his head. “Alex, there’s nothing in this world that would give me pleasure to explore without you by my side.”

Alex feels like he could fucking melt after hearing that. Instead, he reaches up and kisses Henry soundly for a moment, losing himself in the way they fit together. Henry seems happy with it, too, because he’s quick to return the kiss and deepen it, eager to get as close to Alex as he possibly can, it seems. When they pull apart, they’re both breathless and smiling.

“If you’re sure,” Alex says, giving Henry one last chance to bow out.

Henry nods. “Of course I’m sure.”

Alex grins and kisses him again. They kiss for a moment before Alex pulls away, not quite done talking about this. “Where’s the house?”

“It’s by the lake.”

“The lake?”

“Yes.”

“Why’s it by the lake?”

Henry mumbles something that Alex can’t quite make out.

Alex glares at him, hoping the power of his gaze will make Henry repeat himself. It does.

“Because that’s where I fell in love with you,” Henry whispers.

Of all of the things Alex thought he might say, that was certainly not one of them. In fact, the statement catches him totally off-guard. He knows that they’ve been moving faster than most people––since they’re living together and he knows that Henry literally uprooted his entire life just to be with him––but it hasn’t felt fast. It’s felt right and real and like the best feeling Alex could have possibly imagined. It’s waking up in Henry’s arms if he sleeps at all, it’s showing Henry new things, it’s knowing that, miraculously, he’s found the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. And maybe a part of him feels like this is sort of destiny in a way and that falling for Henry has been, somehow, written in the stars and the sea and he couldn’t really stop it even if he tried. The thing is: he doesn’t _want_ to stop it. If it is destiny, then it’s not destiny that’s just dragging him kicking and screaming. Loving Henry like this––risking everything to be with him and to keep him safe and alive––is a choice that Alex will continue to make a hundred times over again until his hair has turned grey and the breath leaves his body.

Though Alex hasn’t really thought about it before, he knows that he does love Henry. How else could he begin to describe the ache he feels when Henry’s gone, if only for an hour? Or the way that their bodies slot together like they were made for each other? Henry is his home. And, even though they’ve only recently met, he feels like he’s known Henry, in some capacity, his entire life. It feels like every time Alex went to the water, he was really just going to Henry.

He realizes he hasn’t spoken in a full minute.

“Sorry,” Henry says. “That sounds…ridiculous.”

Alex grins. “Totally ridiculous,” he agrees, “completely absurd. Fucking bonkers. You’re a madman.”

“Hang on!” Henry protests, smiling.

Alex laughs and kisses him. “It’s so completely and utterly fucking insane th––”

“You love me too, don’t you?”

Alex’s grin spreads and he tackles Henry into the mattress, planting a sound kiss on his lips. “You’re damn fucking right I do.”

Henry giggles and kisses him again. They kiss for a moment or two before Alex pulls back and bites his lip.

“I have the perfect first night in our own place activity lined up,” he announces.

Henry raises an eyebrow. “Really? What might that be?”

Alex runs his finger across Henry’s bottom lip, feeling the soft skin there. “I want to have sex with you,” he whispers.

He expected Henry to look turned on or something by that, but instead, he just looks confused. “Sex?”

Alex groans. “Oh, for the love of fucking _God_ ,” he sighs, “ _please_ tell me you know what sex is.”

Henry shakes his head.

Alex wants to throw himself out the window.

“Could you…explain it?”

Alex rolls away off of Henry and onto his side to face him. “It’s for pleasure,” he begins. “Also having kids.”

“Oh, mating?”

“I want to say yes, but I need you to tell me what mating means for you because I have a feeling it’s very different.”

“Mating is when a woman releases eggs and the man, swimming alongside her––”

Alex shakes his head. “Yeah, no. Nope, very different. For humans, since we have, ya know, _parts_ and stuff, it’s different.” He tries to recall the conversation he had about this with his mom all those years ago. “It’s when two people love each other––well, actually, I guess they don’t _have_ to love each other––and they…they have _sex_! Intercourse! It’s a––I’ll have my mom explain it to you.”

So that’s how they find themselves the next afternoon in the conference room with Ellen standing at the head of the table, a large stack of papers in front of her. Alex practically forces Henry into one of the chairs.

“Thanks for doing this, Mom,” Alex says, patting Henry on the head.

“Of course, sugar. I’m just glad that you two want to practice safe sex.”

Alex smiles at her. “Have fun, H,” he says, starting to leave the room.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Ellen asks.

Alex whips around, horrified. “Uh, anywhere but here?”

She shakes her head and pulls a chair away from the table, gesturing for him to sit down. “Both of you need to know about how to practice safe sex, okay?”

Alex groans and sits down next to Henry, putting his head down on the table. He watches as Ellen sorts through her papers and passes out two mini booklets of information.

The cover reads: **Practicing Safe Sex with a Human and Former Merman: A Presentation**. Alex really wants to jump out of a window now.

“If you’ll turn to page one,” Ellen instructs. Alex and Henry both slowly turn the page. This one reads: **You Have a Penis Now: Where Should You Put It?**.

Alex groans and looks at Henry who looks both fascinated and horrified at the same time, clearly having already looked at the bottom of the page where there’s a very detailed drawing. “Well, you’ve really done it this time, haven’t you, Alex?”


End file.
